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People have a tendency to play the victim during interpersonal conflict, I strive to overcome this tendency to blame every conflict on the other party.

The tendency to blame others is what i call a victim mentality. When I am blaming others, I am a “victim” of their behavior with no power to change things. I don't really like to be a victim. So, I prefer to shift from “victim” mentality to “victor” mentality by focusing on three specific things that are completely under my control.

1. Own Your piece of the conflict.

This Idea is about questioning your perspective, changing your perspective, and, fixing the problem. I have seldom seen or been involved in a conflict that was entirely one party's fault. Rather than play the victim, take charge of your fate by identifying and owning your piece of the conflict.

2. Initiate discussion

I rarely see a conflict resolve itself, and I nearly always see open, honest discussion precede the resolution. Many people will flee from conflict rather than confront it. If you want to be a victor and not a victim, you need to take the responsibility to initiate the discussion.

3. Forgive the other party

“Being bitter and angry is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Harbouring negative feelings towards another person does nothing to fix the situation and does much to damage the relationship. These negative feelings actually give the other person power over you. If you want to be a victor and claim control of your thoughts and actions, you have to forgive the other person so that you can get the issue resolved and agree to a suitable action plan that meets both of our needs. even if it means never seeing each other again, at least you have agreed. Carrying hurt will only burden you. Don`t let anyone`s ignorance, hate, drama or negativity stop you from being the best person you can be.

I encourage you to be a victor and not a victim when you are in interpersonal conflict. Focus on these three concepts to take control of your thoughts, feelings and actions. When you are a victor, you position yourself to build momentum in all of your relationships.

No matter what you have done, you still have value and worth. The world will say otherwise, but hold onto that truth. That truth will set you free even if the consequences remain.  This is all part of what it takes becoming a victor.


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